| disclaimer post |
[12 Dec 2030|12:12am] |
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Druscilla Peterson belongs to Ann M. Martin and Scholastic Books. Druscilla Porter is my interpretation of the character. She was part of the New BSC and New Stoneybrook games at the late greatestjournal. Christina Ricci belongs to herself and is being used for image purposes only. This journal will be updated on occasion because some muses are too strong to die.
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[08 Jun 2010|08:25am] |
Click on the cover to read the dedication.
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| And grace will lead me home |
[08 Jun 2007|08:50pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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Amazing Grace- Ani DiFranco |
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The wheel of life turns,
The cycle of rebirth continues.
Those beyond life,
You are remembered today.
Gifts of love and hope,
Are offered whole heartedly,
To those we remember
To those we do not,
To all of those we have lost.
Dark Lady and Dark Lord,
In your gentle embrace,
Our dead you have taken.
All thread of life are cut,
All threads are woven anew.
May the wheel turn,
And begin the cycle again.
We give freely
Juniper for love
Yew for rebirth
Bay for strength
Parsley for cleansing
Alyssum for happiness
Basil for peace.
May our blessings be received.
You are remembered.
Millicent Frances Porter
March 30, 1930 - June 8, 2007
You will always be remembered.
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| Roses so red our hearts were busted open |
[18 May 2007|11:48pm] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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music |
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Garden of Love- Aqualung |
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Something is being kept from me. I just know it. Mother's Day was all sorts of weirdness as was dinner tonight. These people know something I don't and it's like they are afraid to tell me for whatever reason. My mother has been being given a variety of looks from Grandmother and Jim tonight whenever they don't think I'm looking. It needs to be out in the open whatever it is. I'm going to start asking questions.
I will find out what is going on. Something is telling me that it is important I do it now instead of later.
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| I'm open to attack, but I don't want to hurt you |
[25 Apr 2007|07:47am] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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Opheliac- Emilie Autumn |
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It's almost May. Where has most of the school year gone? It seems like the first day was only yesterday. Just a month and a half or so until we're done for the year.
Prom season is coming up. If someone asks me, I'll go. Otherwise I'll just wait until next year. My life isn't going to fall apart. I have other things to worry about. Like schoolwork and picking out gifts to give to my mom for her birthday and Mother's Day. The gift part only seems to get harder after each passing year. Especially when it comes to her. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this more than once. It will always be a problem I'm afraid.
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| Time casts a spell on you, but you won't forget me |
[07 Apr 2007|06:15pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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music |
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Silver Spring - Stevie Nicks |
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Spring Break. A time during the school year when my nocturnal habits aren't much of a problem. I have no plans whatsoever. I might just go to the library on Monday and check out a few books to read. We'll see. Maybe something else will come up.
I miss my pink bedroom. I'd really like to spend time with my dad during this break, but I know my mother will say no. It isn't right, but she's determined to let her anger over the past remain in control. She needs to let it go. I don't think she can though.
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| I'm drinking what used to be sin and touching the edge of her skin |
[10 Mar 2007|08:10am] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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You Make Me Smile- Blue October |
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When I was in the sixth grade I wanted to be like Wednesday Addams. When I wasn't in that blasted uniform I would dress up exactly like her, braids and all. As you can imagine, it drove my mother crazy. She had always wanted a more conventional daughter. She blamed my dad like she did for all the things about me she didn't like. Considering I had spent more time with Grandmother than him at this point, it didn't seem fair. By that time I had realized she was never going to be rational about him. The Wednesday Addams worship lasted for about a year. By the time my mother left for Spain, I had moved on to Morticia.
A part of me wants to know what would have happened if she had just accepted it as a stage instead of trying to blame someone else for it. Would it have lasted for as long as it had? Probably.
Just by being who I am, I rebel against my mother. It's interesting.
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| Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me. |
[24 Feb 2007|06:23pm] |
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mood |
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 moody |
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music |
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Welcome to the Black Parade- My Chemical Romance |
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Death has been on my mind a lot during the past week. Ever since I heard about Yves's passing.
All I can think about right now is that someday my grandmother will die. No one lives forever after all. Just the idea that she could die at any moment scares me. I hate thinking about it, so I try not to. But sometimes I can't help but do so. Like now.
She's the glue that is keeping this family together. I can't even begin to imagine what will happen to us when she isn't around anymore. Something tells me it won't be good.
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| Beauty will last when spiraled down |
[24 Jan 2007|05:08pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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Miss Murder- AFI |
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I've tried to write several journal entries so far this month. None of them have made any sense. This is my last attempt for a while unless I actually update this thing. So far, so good.
The energy at home is off. There's a tenison around the place that wasn't there before. Have you ever had the feeling that something was being hidden from you? Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but that's exactly what I'm feeling. I don't like it. Not at all.
Still, I'm not sure if I want to know what's going on.
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| I love you though you hurt me so |
[30 Dec 2006|03:25am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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Tainted Love- Soft Cell |
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I wish I could always spend New Year's Eve with my dad. He doesn't drag me to parties I don't want to go to like my mom does. At least this year's party is at the Brewer mansion. I can always sneak over to Grandmother's. I'm sure Jim would cover for me as long as he knows where I'm at.
Something doesn't feel right around here. Maybe I'm just imagining things. I do have a lot of time to think with the school break. That will be changing in a few days. I'll have to see if I feel the same away then.
I have no idea what 2007 is going to bring. I have to say I like the uncertainty of it.
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| I'm gonna melt the fever sugar |
[16 Dec 2006|04:11pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns |
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I had a very lovely birthday this year. Although I didn't get all of them into the same room at the same time, I still got to see everyone in my family. My parents were civil to each other for the three minutes they spent together. Usually they can't last that long without my mom picking a fight with him. I'm never going to get married if that's what happens when things go wrong.
Report cards went out yesterday. My grades are-
Honors American Lit: A
Honors US History: B
AP Chemistry: A
Algebra II: A
Ceramics: A
Wind Ensemble: A
Spanish III: B
My mom is thrilled. One would have thought it was her report card by the way she was acting.
Yesterday was also the last day of school until 2007. The sweet taste of freedom. Not having to wake up early in the morning will be a glorious thing indeed.
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